It's the most wonderful time of the year!

So this is going about as expected. Got really into it for a hot minute, then here we are... what? Three months later? Round two, I guess.

Halloween! The bestest and most innovative of the holidays! I would rather have Halloween as a bank holiday than Christmas. Largely due to the over-commercialization of Christmas, which I admit, sounds a bit hypocritical given all the costuming and Halloween decor available for the entire month of October. But Christmas has become so important to retail and the economy that businesses can't wait to start putting up all the flashy, glittery Christmas crap they can find because it's all about who can buy the largest, most expensive gifts for the important people in your lives, and if you can't do that then you must be a bad person. I mean, we don't even get to enjoy Thanksgiving for all the Santas and elves and mistletoe decking the halls. Plus, what if you hate your family? There's an expectation that you spend a whole week with a bunch of people you would rather see run over by a sleigh than getting gifts from the fat man driving it.

Halloween is about expression and a good natured scare! Show off your creativity and win rewards of candy! Unless you have a dentist on your street. Nobody wants to go to that guy's house. Personally, I give out the tiny fun bars to the kids that half ass it and buy off the rack. The kids that go above and beyond (which probably means their parents are cosplayers) get the full size fucking King bars. Reward them and their overachieving parents in one king sized double candy bar move.

Plus, depending on how the day falls, adults can celebrate on their own with weekend parties before giving the kids their own Halloween! Besides, how much more fun are haunted houses than some lame little manger scene that isn't even interactive? Or technically (historically) in season, but that's none of my business.

So live it up this October! Be the best little monster you can be and keep me posted about your costumes in the comment section! And your parties. No really, invite me to your parties. I'll bring booze.

This Halloween...